Something that calms me down but its illusory

 Every time when I feel hurt, or someone treats me poorly, I always imagine the moment that will come after they will break me. I'll sit alone watching the lake, while the sky is getting darker and darker as the night comes, then I hope they will have some kind of pangs of conscience but the truth is... they wouldn't, I just think about it like that because it makes me somehow calmer, that even if someone will break me into pieces again, they will break themselves as well - but they won't, people forgets quickly, but not the ones who they bore the burden of their existence.

ライチ光クラブ★東京グランギニョル

ライチ光クラブ★東京グランギニョル

 I think the most tough things about being a person who grew up with no one believing in them is that I will never believe in myself either. 

Every success of mine is because I was lucky - I think like that, I don't believe I can do anything I'd be proud of if it aren't just luckiness, there's no hidden talent in me, no special abilities, no wisdom. 

 Sometimes it depends on people how much you matter

Words, that I don't want to remember, but it makes me reconsider

 ''Thank you for being my bestfriend's for those last counted days''